Hatred born of violence either destroys or inspires—I choose the latter: serving truth through history because of cruelty towards someone, people can crave revenge. After an atrocity, you can only think about the violence that happened. This thought bothers you so much that your anger rises. You feel that everything inside of you is gonna explode, so you feel you must act. All these heavy and negative thoughts can make you furious. And it is not always a bad fury, because you may simply want to protect yourself or someone else.
Moreover, this anger shows that you know you are not guilty and did not deserve it. And you want to seek revenge on criminals for ruining your peace and your life. Now we can clearly see this example among our people. Many Ukrainians hate russia. Its people are killing, torturing, and raping our people just for who they are—Ukrainians.
Obviously, after that we will be very angry. At the beginning of the full – scale russian invasion, when I found out that my teacher was in captivity, I just burst into tears and felt horrible. Fortunately, she was brought back from captivity. Because of the war, I did not feel safe at my home because of the missile strikes. We wake up in the middle of the night because of the drones. Then, at six o’clock, we must get ready for work, looking like zombies, and pretend to live normal lives. We have adapted to this lifestyle, but it is not okay to get used to constant danger. Among the angry, the bravest people feel that they cannot tolerate this injustice and begin blaming themselves for not doing enough. These people become soldiers. This kind of courage deserves respect. Sometimes people direct revenge in another way. For me, it is studying history and archeology. In my second year of study, the subject “Introduction to History” appeared. This subject studies history in different eras and the attitude towards historians. In the book that we read for this subject, there was a phrase: “History is the moment when the whole life flashes before our eyes before death.” And I was enlightened by this phrase. And what is interesting, after gaining independence and the Revolution of Dignity, an interest in studying history grew. And a full-scale russian invasion is one of the reasons why I entered history and archeology.
I want to gain justice through history. I want to know that my country is not guilty; I want to convey this message to the masses. I want to explain to people why we should know our history. And why we must love Ukraine and cherish our country.
As we can see, horrific things make us feel anger. And this fury is valid. But it is only our choice how to direct this thirst for revenge. Some people cannot control themselves. Maybe it is not an inability but a conscious choice. And how conscious this choice is, and not influenced by emotions, is hard to say. But some people are truly ready to kill; they become criminals and eventually end up in jail.
We should notice any emotions we experience. My instruction is: notice, recognize, identify, and stop yourself. By “stopping,” I do not mean suppressing emotions, but transforming them into conscious actions. It is not about self-sabotage. It is about thinking and asking yourself, “What can I do? How can I help? How can I be useful?”. If you really want to change something and make a brilliant and smart revenge, where you will definitely win, you are supposed to control yourself and direct your anger in a right way. Strong emotions, especially fury, definitely influence people’s character. But how we express anger is our decision. That decision determines what kind of people we will become after that: strong or weak, angry or scared, to attack or to run. Which choice is more noble? It depends on people’s perceptions to the certain circumstances. In other words, every person will have their opinion. The main point is that we are just humans. There is a line from the song “Human”: “I am only a human after all; do not put a blame on me.” But this line does not excuse russians. Because I am only human, I decide not to forgive them. Never. I will always hate russia. This is my choice of expression of anger. Violence against my country changed me forever. russians are committing horrible things; they chose this. However, I will direct my fury into my work, to ruin all myths about Ukrainian history.
by Sofia Pishchanska
